Drink and A Pill On Me


A word of advice. If a man offers you a drink and a couple of pills, leave the drink, the pills, AND THE MAN.       QUICKLY!!!!!!

"Therese Serignese - Cosby gave her two pills and a glass of water, saying, “Take these.”"

" Barbara Bowman - blacked out after Cosby drugged her,"

" Janice Dickinson - Cosby had given her red wine and a pill when they were together in a Lake Tahoe, California"

" Andrea Constand - and after allegedly (according to a civil lawsuit she would later file) giving her "herbal" pills to ease her anxiety, Cosby “touched her"

"Tamara Green , Cosby drugged and sexually assaulted her in the 1970s. Green tells Matt Lauer that Cosby, who had given her pills to combat a fever,..."

Compatible Weaknesses

I’m convinced that many train wreck relationships are the direct result of compatible weaknesses. For those of you asking the question, “what are compatible weaknesses”, allow me to define the term for you.
Compatible weaknesses - weaknesses present in individuals that serve to attract said individuals to one another in an effort to mask, minimize, or gloss over the compatible weaknesses.
For example, the man who feels inferior due to his small stature is drawn to the woman with self-esteem issues. He verbally and physically abuses and brainwashes her into believing “no one will love you like I do” for any number of reasons, real or imagined. She accepts the abuse believing he is indeed the best she will ever do. In some of these cases the man or woman realizes they can do better and they break from the constraints their weakness has thrust upon them. They do this knowing the aggressor will continue to try to manipulate them into the former way of thinking.

Been a long time since I spoke to you in a bathroom gripping you up and choking you. What the hell was I supposed to do….. (K. West)
I know you aint getting this type of d-ck from that local dude…..(K. West)

Then we have the perfect couples. On the outside they are the most beautiful physical specimens. Rich and famous. Sometimes talented. Secretly, they are intimidated by their own fame and struggle to mask the inferiority complex they battle. On the inside they feel as if they need to live up to a standard set by societal expectations so they find someone just like them. Beautiful on the outside, but shallow on the inside. These pressures drive some of them to public extremes. When I see these extremes I have to ask, does he love her? Does she feel loved?

Why I Threatened My Son? Ferguson.


He rolled his eyes. And, he's still alive. My second oldest son. He's a teenager so of course he knows everything, BUT he forgot for a moment who was talking to him. He did not like what I was saying about getting his older brother angry while he's driving.

My oldest son is an inexperienced driver and doesn't need the added distraction. But his younger brother didn't want to hear what I had to say SO, he rolled his eyes. I told him to, "come here", but I was so afraid of what I would do I pushed him away, allowing the sofa to break his fall. I told him we needed some space between us before I punched him in his face.

I said a lot more before sending him out of my presence. I told him he could come back when he felt he could dwell in my presence workout endangering his well being.

The next day I regretted my outburst, (not all of it, but some ). I regretted, until I thought about Michael Brown.

My son's attitude will get his ¢®]®¥ kicked by me. His attitude will cause me to scare the devil or of him. If it gets too bad I'll take his cell phone. But, he'll survive my wrath.

The same attitude with SOME police will result in an early grave.

My son needs to know that,
It's better to be wronged and alive,
than to be right and dead.

O Say Can You See


Lord, touch my eyes so I can see.



I'm trying to balance out the various areas of my life. I think I'm close to achieving this balance. Prayerfully, that will enable me to return to actively blogging an keeping up with you, you, and you.

Brothers, Please Talk About It

Deuteronomy 30:19 Let heaven and earth be my witnesses against you this day that I have put before you life and death, a blessing and a curse: so take life for yourselves and for your seed:

When I say talk about it, I am not talking about any specific it. But in light of the recent death of Don Cornelius, apparently by suicide, I find it necessary to emerge from blog hibernation to ask my brothers (black and white) but especially my Black brothers to lay down your swagger (and your liquor, drugs, and side pieces) which are only band aids on the dam, and talk to somebody about whatever it is that's troubling you.


My First 10 (or however many I can come up with)

I have never done a list before. I miss being an active blogger. I need the interaction that blogging provides. And Mellogyrl does them so I thought I would try.
These are in no particular order.

1.     1. Not quit
a.     I’m always encouraging others to stick with it (regardless of what it is), so I need to practice what I (literally)preach.
                                          i.    …….. for whatsoever is not of faith is sin. Romans 14:23
2.     2. Reintroduce
a.     There is more to SLC than meets the blog. My initial reasons for blogging have long since expired. There is a greater purpose to this medium for me.
                                          i.    ………….I want you to get out there and walk - better yet, run! - on the road God called you to travel.  Ephesians 4:1 (The Message)
3.     3. In relation to number 2 – counter act the negative effects of Arschloch (or Arschlochian) teachings on black men and relationships
a.     You can use Google translate for the German word above
4.     4. Move from potential to Kinetic in my community ministry.
a.     Great ideas are nothing without opportunities and if opportunity doesn’t knock, make a door.
                                          i.    …….. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7
5.     5. Make beautiful music
a.     It is a neglected gift that has the ability to uplift others
                                          i.    ……..  He will play when the evil spirit from God comes upon you, and you will feel better. 1 Samuel 16:16
6.     6. Meet some bloggers
a.     I like to travel, so any blogger between Georgia (near my mommy) and New York (near Jersey (my hometown))
7.     7. Get my first degree.
a.     I consider myself intelligent, but there comes a time when you need proof of dedication so my AS in Information Technology is a step in the right direction
8.     8. School of Theology
a.     I really don’t feel like I fit in with many of the theologians I know, but the opportunity to further my education in ministry, and support numbers 2, 3, and 4 on this list would be greatly aided by this pursuit.
9.    9.  Become more politically vocal and active.
a.     Not sure voting alone is enough for me.
10.  10. Make my presence known at my children’s schools.
a.     We live in the burbs; where most of the teachers grew up, but most of the students were not born there, but moved there with their parents from the inner city. I just want to make sure that Jamaal and Shant`e are getting the same attention and support that Joey and Sally are getting.

A Dream

A few weeks ago, I had a dream about this house.

I know it’s not much to  look at, but on more than one occasion this house provided a nights rest for me, my sister, 7 male cousins, 2 female cousins, 2 sets of aunts and uncles, my mother, and the matriarch of our family; grandma. In my dream some of us were sitting round trying to decide what to do with the house and how to do it. That’s all I remember about the dream. I don’t remember the opinions, or the options that were discussed, just the topic of what to do with the house.

On Saturday morning at 5:30am, I heard my wife on the phone. I woke up. She hung up, took a deep breath and said, “Your grandmother just passed”. I then remembered my dream. While I am definitely in a melLOW mood, I have peace. I knew when I had the dream that it was a sign that I should be prepared for the inevitable. She was not particularly ill and had no specific disease to speak of. She was like Enoch, who walked with God until “he was not; for God took him”.

When I saw her last summer, she had lost my cheeks. Yes they were MY rosy cheeks. I was blessed to see her again in North Carolina for Thanksgiving dinner and I was so happy to see that MY cheeks had regained their fullness. During her last week she lived a full life and passed a message on through my mother; Vote. My grandma took the opportunity to vote early; not knowing (I think) that she would not survive to see the results. She remembered a day when she could not vote, and a time when poll taxes made it prohibitively difficult to vote, so she made sure she voted and that her children, grands, and great grands did likewise. So yesterday, in honor of my grandma, and in spite of the disheartening choices here in Virginia I voted.

Tomorrow we leave for Mobile, Alabama where I’ll cry a little, but not more than I’ll rejoice, then we’ll resume the discussion about the house.

Miss y’all, Love y’all

 MARY DAVIS-JONES @ Age 82 in this photo

Re-Visiting You Me And She

A few weeks ago, MizRepresent, the beautiful blogger dealt with the issue of man sharing. In her post there were actually three options presented:

1. Move to another state.

2. Import your man, then successfully move him to Utah, Nevada, Arizona or some remote island where the ratio of men to women is more like 100-25.

3. Manshare - in other words, take what you can get, get what you want, enjoy while you can, and most importantly no complaints.

In my comments I stated that my reply might come in two parts, so I guess this post is the second part of my reply.

I try to be careful and non-judgmental when evaluating single people and their relationship issues. Actually I hate it when people are overly critical of others behavior since they seem to have forgotten that before they were perfect and famous, they were an anonymous mess. Plus I’ve been with the same woman for 19 years including 16 married, with no sidepieces in between. I’m blessed to have someone that has been able to cope so long with the mess I am, and in fact has played a vital role in making me a much better mess. So while I will never advise anyone to share a piece of another person, my statements regarding their plight and their choices will heed the scriptural warning;

If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day's out. 
(Galatians 6:1 The Message)

But that isn’t he scripture that caused me to revisit this post. I naively thought this open discussion of man sharing was new. I mean I knew it happened, but I didn’t think it was such an openly discussed topic. Unfortunately statistics and many bloggers have indicated that the scarcity of free black men that are not interested in other free black men, has left the pickings rather slim for black women, meaning they have to share a man, look in another race, find their own Ellen DeGeneres, or tough it out. I was reading an old book called Isaiah where I found a similar phenomenon of man sharing.

Isaiah 3:25 The men of the city will die in battle.

And as a result
Isaiah 4:1  That will be the day when
seven women will gang up on one man, saying,
"We'll take care of ourselves, get our own food and clothes.
Just give us a child. Make us pregnant so we'll have something to live for!"  (The Message)

I was a little stunned to see today, in Isaiah. Men are being physically killed today, but more so spiritually annihilated by all the evil this society has to offer through drugs, easy sex and all the trappings of greed. Men are able to sit back and be picky saying, she’s too short, she’s too tall, she’s too thin, she’s too light etc when evaluating their choices of good women. Women are saying, he’s too locked up, he’s too gay, he’s too homeless, but, this one here has a job, a car and his own crib. I don’t have his home number, and I’ve yet to go over there, but he visits me twice a week on the regular. Unfortunately women sometimes feel as if their only choice is to settle for less until more comes along, but more never comes from the one they’ve settled for.

Anyway, to help fix this societal imbalance a little, I will continue to raise my three sons to be viable and true candidates for a good woman when they are of age.

Son number one is an honor roll student who is no longer interested in hugging his parents but has found an interest in chess and a couple of smart seventh grade GIRLS at his school. He aspires to be a veterinarian.

Son number two is a gifted musician that when eligible will probably be composing songs of his own. He is one of a handful of 6th graders that were invited to play in the advanced band. Along with music he foresees a career in law enforcement.

Son number three will require any eligible female to wait a little longer. He is secure by himself but there are a few in his pre K class that are smitten by his intelligence and like to hold his hand on the way to the cafeteria. He is a talented singer, bongo player, and scooter rider. He aspires to be a Doctor when he grows up and currently plans on marrying his sister, but don’t worry he’ll grow out of that stage.

Our society and black men in our society have their issues. Those issues need to be addressed head on, not discussed on C-span, especially if there is no follow-up. So I’m going to try to make thing better by training up my children (and any others I encounter) right. I’ll spank them now so the cops won’t have to club them later. I’ll raise them to be men that recognize good women, and are recognizable to them. I’ll raise them to refuse to share and to know that being shared by women means they have a lot in common with public toilets.

If I really have my way, I’ll be raising them in Georgia by the spring of 2012. I heard they could use some more good men.



My wife works at an inner city school teaching special education 6th graders. She loves what she does, is good at it, and is definitely walking in her calling. The one drawback is the occasional student that threatens to kick her bitch ass. My wife usually keeps her cool, politely inviting them to do what they think they can do. So far none of them have accepted her invitation. At 5’ 2” she’s gained a little weight in the last 16 years so she’s around 120 pounds, but she thinks she’s 6’ 2” and 240 pounds. For this reason whenever she calls in the middle of the day, I’m ready to hop in my SUV and make my presence known. I also have a couple of people on standby in case I need to bring a small army with me.
Last week she gave me one of those rare middle of the day calls, so I grabbed my keys and stood up while answering my cell phone all for nothing. There was no need for me to go up to the school and whip a child like their pappy and mammy doesn’t. All she wanted to tell me was that she was voted Teacher Of the Year (TOY) for Henderson Middle School.
This is my toy with the LAST of her four children. I promise you, he is the last one.

That’s what happens when a person abides in their calling.
It’s time for me to do likewise.