A few weeks ago, MizRepresent, the beautiful blogger dealt with the issue of man sharing. In her post there were actually three options presented:
1. Move to another state.
2. Import your man, then successfully move him to
Utah, Nevada, or some remote island where the ratio of men to women is more like 100-25. Arizona
3. Manshare - in other words, take what you can get, get what you want, enjoy while you can, and most importantly no complaints.
In my comments I stated that my reply might come in two parts, so I guess this post is the second part of my reply.
I try to be careful and non-judgmental when evaluating single people and their relationship issues. Actually I hate it when people are overly critical of others behavior since they seem to have forgotten that before they were perfect and famous, they were an anonymous mess. Plus I’ve been with the same woman for 19 years including 16 married, with no sidepieces in between. I’m blessed to have someone that has been able to cope so long with the mess I am, and in fact has played a vital role in making me a much better mess. So while I will never advise anyone to share a piece of another person, my statements regarding their plight and their choices will heed the scriptural warning;
If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day's out.
(Galatians 6:1 The Message)
But that isn’t he scripture that caused me to revisit this post. I naively thought this open discussion of man sharing was new. I mean I knew it happened, but I didn’t think it was such an openly discussed topic. Unfortunately statistics and many bloggers have indicated that the scarcity of free black men that are not interested in other free black men, has left the pickings rather slim for black women, meaning they have to share a man, look in another race, find their own Ellen DeGeneres, or tough it out. I was reading an old book called Isaiah where I found a similar phenomenon of man sharing.
Isaiah 3:25 The men of the city will die in battle.
And as a result
Isaiah 4:1 That will be the day when
seven women will gang up on one man, saying,
"We'll take care of ourselves, get our own food and clothes.
Just give us a child. Make us pregnant so we'll have something to live for!" (The Message)
I was a little stunned to see today, in Isaiah. Men are being physically killed today, but more so spiritually annihilated by all the evil this society has to offer through drugs, easy sex and all the trappings of greed. Men are able to sit back and be picky saying, she’s too short, she’s too tall, she’s too thin, she’s too light etc when evaluating their choices of good women. Women are saying, he’s too locked up, he’s too gay, he’s too homeless, but, this one here has a job, a car and his own crib. I don’t have his home number, and I’ve yet to go over there, but he visits me twice a week on the regular. Unfortunately women sometimes feel as if their only choice is to settle for less until more comes along, but more never comes from the one they’ve settled for.
Anyway, to help fix this societal imbalance a little, I will continue to raise my three sons to be viable and true candidates for a good woman when they are of age.
Son number one is an honor roll student who is no longer interested in hugging his parents but has found an interest in chess and a couple of smart seventh grade GIRLS at his school. He aspires to be a veterinarian.
Son number two is a gifted musician that when eligible will probably be composing songs of his own. He is one of a handful of 6th graders that were invited to play in the advanced band. Along with music he foresees a career in law enforcement.
Son number three will require any eligible female to wait a little longer. He is secure by himself but there are a few in his pre K class that are smitten by his intelligence and like to hold his hand on the way to the cafeteria. He is a talented singer, bongo player, and scooter rider. He aspires to be a Doctor when he grows up and currently plans on marrying his sister, but don’t worry he’ll grow out of that stage.
Our society and black men in our society have their issues. Those issues need to be addressed head on, not discussed on C-span, especially if there is no follow-up. So I’m going to try to make thing better by training up my children (and any others I encounter) right. I’ll spank them now so the cops won’t have to club them later. I’ll raise them to be men that recognize good women, and are recognizable to them. I’ll raise them to refuse to share and to know that being shared by women means they have a lot in common with public toilets.
If I really have my way, I’ll be raising them in
by the spring of 2012. I heard they could use some more good men. Georgia