When I lived in Jersey , whenever a conversation about a new girl broke out the question was always asked, “What does she look like”. I got sick and tired of the first words always being, “she light skinned, she got pretty eyes………….” If I was interested, that description changed my mind immediately. My boy M got me to meet this chick whom he described as light skinned, but never said much else about her. Well there wasn’t much else to say. She was light skinned with no face, no body, and a personality to match. I was (am) light skinned, and I was color struck to the other extreme. I was drawn to chocolate. Any female lighter than me wouldn’t get a second look in Jersey because I HATED my color, although I LOVE my race. I had no brothers but plenty of male cousins that I felt looked better than I because of their color. I felt like the odd one in the bunch. I think this inferiority contributed to my shyness throughout grade school and high school.
When I ventured south to Richmond , Virginia
The rumor at that time was that the new University President was voted in due to a groundswell of support from women who thought he had pretty hair.
On campus, there were fellas called pretty boys. One female mistakenly called be a pretty boy and I mistakenly called her a………….. Ok any way. I apologized profusely, explaining to her that I didn’t fit that stereotype. Ironically the same way she typecast me, is the way I typecast light skinned girls on campus. If they were light, I assumed they were stuck up and would never look their way, not even for the time of day. I ended up dating one of the choclatiest girls I could find, and surely I missed out on some great friendships due to my own issues. In hindsight I realize the people I met were not as predictable as I assumed. Just like stupidity, stuck uppity came in all shades of black, not just pale, and I reacted to what I considered shallow thinking with more of the same. I didn’t believe in
reincarnation but I always said I would come back as Big Daddy Kane or Kool Moe Dee. Anyway, my prejudices did nothing to bring unity to our campus and did nothing to change my skin, my complex (ion), or my internal conflicts which went way beyond skin color.
reincarnation but I always said I would come back as Big Daddy Kane or Kool Moe Dee. Anyway, my prejudices did nothing to bring unity to our campus and did nothing to change my skin, my complex (ion), or my internal conflicts which went way beyond skin color. It took God delivering me from a number of things to change my perspective of me. Of course the biggest task was getting delivered from my own inferiority complex. Then it took me getting delivered from people and their hang-ups. So what if the kids in Paterson , NJ
Comments
That is why they always asking Hispanics to state if they are of African decent or not. Anyway...enough brainiac smack
I grew up in Texas and was blessed enough to come from a family that looks like a rainbow coalition so black has always been black to me. My mother and brother are a beautiful and chocolate skinned my dad's mom looks like a native American and her mother even more so. Yes I remember my great grandmother and great grandfather. I have folks light enough to pass in my family and folks dark enough to be in the back row of the cotton field. So I just never had the issues. Although I do have a thing for men with dark hair and fair skin (bumble bees) but I don't like 'em pretty. And I am equal opportunity I LOVES me some caramel and chocolate and all that is in between.
Anyway color is so complex everywhere and WE (all races) deal with it. Asians do the same thing we do. And well white folks do the opposite the better you can hold a tan... anyway.
Me I think of myself as right smack dab in the middle. Although some people have called me light skinned I can't pass NO paper bag test. I never really worried about my color one way or another. But I do remember having friends in high school who would NOT go out in the sun for fear of darkening up.
I remember I gave a friend a heart attack once because I was outside with my two mixedfolks.com roommates getting sun. I personally LOVE the way I look when darkened by the sun, she was about to SLAP me.
I wish I had some sun now. Its cold here in Boston. *lol*
Thanks for sharing
-OG
Thanks for visit, wisdom, and laugh.
SLC
I'm the younger version of YOU! No wonder you like my blog so much.
However, this is the FIRST TIME that I have ever read about a light skinned man who didn't like his complexion. The grass is truly greener on the other side, or in your case, the skin is better in the other shade.
You have dark brothas who would do anything to be light, but not many of the converse. Light brothas usually would consider it a curse to be dark skinned.
But that's all negativity that has been engrained in our culture due to "outside influences".
This was a spectacular post. Please keep them coming!
I'm somewhere in the middle on the complexion scale. I married a darkskinned man and have darkskinned children. They often joke that I would have been in the house if we were slaves and probably would not have met my husband. My son asked why they were all black and mommy was white when he was 3 or 4.
My husband's family genes are crazy. They all look just alike and have the prettiest, smoothest, dark skin. It's beautiful.
When my daughter was in kintergarden almost the entire class teased her about her complexion. She came home crying and wishing she was lighter. I took out one of our black history books and showed her pictures of all the powerful, darkskinned black people who have done wonderful things. I also sat her in front of the mirror and we went through every beautiful part of her face. She hasn't looked back since.
What bothers me more than anything is the problems we have amongst ourselves when it comes to color. Slavery really did a job on our people.
Yes sir that is me in my picture.
Man you are the first I heard, hell my uncle use to wash his hair with Tide so he go get Afrolicious or something like that.
I guess light skinned men were all the hype in the 90s back with El Debarge, Chris Williams, and Al B Sure. I'm surprised that others haven't heard of light skin folks who are so enamoured with it. It happens.
I don't appear often on my blog but in my blog Triplicate It has some pics of me family in our many shades of black.
-OG
DeAntwan
Must have been a culture shock coming from Jersey to Richmond.
They still haven't forgotten the Civil War in those parts.
Very nice photos on triplicate, and I stand by my previous comments regarding my sister. You look gooder
Hey Fitts. Guess I had to work of a different type of weight.
Culture shock is putting it mildly. We may be relocating to Georgia next year so the cultural learning curve will definitely increase.
Tarheel Born? Hmmmmmmmmmmm
Strong you are so right. School Daze was just a hint of the issues.
Love, peace & blessings!
I'll never forget when he was around 5 or 6 years old. He told me that he thought staying in the tub longer would make him clean and "white" like my light-skinned brother. Me being 8 years older than him, I explained to him that he is beautiful and God made him exactly how he wanted him to be dark and all.
SLC, God made you exactly how he wanted you to be too. I'm gald that He has delivered you from this complex.
This just goes to show, what we say truly does affect others.
Thanks, for sharing.
I actually had a complex about being light. Now I'm happy with being what God created me to be.
Great Post!
This is such a great post. Keep up the good work. Miss you on Character Corner. I have not been inspired to post lately. But I did find a story of a dying boy's last wish that really touched my soul.
anyway, i laughed out loud at the notion of my niece refering to you as "white". I guess she must have thought i was "white"to being that she has asked me 2x if you and i were twins..!
My wife is a dark skinned woman.
So We have that in common.
You've been tagged. The details are on my diary blog.